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  "You don't know that for a fact, Adri, any more than I do. Regardless, I won't do it. I nearly killed my mother. Who would you sacrifice in her stead just for the slim chance of buying me a few more hours of exhaustion-addled wakefulness?"

  "You used it on your people after you put your mother back into a coma. It's too late to pick and choose now."

  "I used it on all of our people at once and I used the smallest field I was capable of. That's entirely different than using it on two or three people. The risk is simply too great, Adri, and before you ask, no, I won't use it on you, not even if you volunteer. As you pointed out so recently, neither of us is capable of making the other do something we don't want to do."

  "We shouldn't have killed those last three enforcers then. You could have drained them until the cows came home and if you happened to go a little too far and kill one of them it wouldn't have been any great loss. Man, why couldn't I have thought of that back then?"

  "It wouldn't have made any difference, Adri. I thought of it before I killed them, but I wouldn't have agreed to that plan either. I'll use my ability on an enemy to defeat them or even to kill them, but will not agree to enslaving even a full member of the Coun'hij in that fashion. To do so would be to turn myself into something very little different than the vampires we've all spent so much time fighting."

  "So I'm just supposed to sit here and watch while Dream Stealer destroys your sanity?"

  "No, do as I asked. Re-establish communications with the rest of our people, especially Isaac—I don't want him to continue thinking that I'm holding some kind of grudge. I know you may not be able to call him for a little while, but if he calls again you have to promise me that you'll answer no matter what."

  "Okay, Alec. It sounds like we probably need to do some testing over the next few days to make sure that the communications solution is working as intended, but after that I'll bump Isaac to the top of the list."

  "No, this is important. If he calls you have to find a way to talk to him and tell him that I'm not angry."

  "Are you saying that you want us to risk the lives of everyone else here in order to take Isaac's call?"

  Alec closed his eyes for several seconds before shaking his head. "No, don't put everyone in danger—that wouldn't be right, but please do everything you can to find a way to talk to him. I get the feeling that Isaac's in a bad way and I'd rather not have him go to his death thinking that I abandoned him because of something petty like that."

  I looked over at Donovan, who seemed to be making a concerted effort not to get sucked into this particular part of the conversation, and could tell that he was thinking the same thing I was. This wasn't just because Alec was worried that Isaac's time was short. Alec was subconsciously worried that Alec's time was short. It made me want to cry, but I managed to hold myself together, receiving a nod of agreement from Donovan before turning back to Alec.

  "Okay, Alec, I get it. We'll do whatever we can to fix things between the two of you. What else do you need to tell us?"

  "Start analyzing everything we can get from Fort Loudon State Park in Tennessee in the hopes that we'll be able to track the Coun'hij if they move after Jasmin's attack, and be able to take them at a later date after you've had a chance to consolidate our people back into one group."

  My sadness hadn't disappeared, but part of it was starting to morph into something else, the kind of white-hot anger that I only seemed to feel when I felt completely helpless.

  "That won't make a difference though, Alec. Don't you see? Without you we still don't have a chance. Jaclyn and Grayson are both useless against Puppeteer's werewolves."

  "I know, but they aren't your only weapon. Tasha is asking Lori to meet up with us in Kansas City. She's the one who can shift the tide for us. Drop her in the middle of the Coun'hij's base and she'll have their own people climbing over top of each other to kill Puppeteer and his werewolves."

  "She's dangerous, Alec. I don't know if we can control her."

  "I know she's dangerous, but you've got to think in terms of winning her friendship. You've made a good start there, continue on in the same manner, but keep Dominic and a few of the other women you trust around. I wish I'd been able to get Jasmin to come back here for that reason if for no other. She and Lori would strike sparks off of each other, but she would go a long way towards keeping Lori in check."

  I shook my head as the first of my tears escaped and made shiny tracks down my cheeks. "Please don't do this, Alec. Don't give up like this."

  "I'm not giving up, Adri. I'm going to be fighting Dream Stealer with everything I have, but this is the only way for us to win, the only way that doesn't result in me turning into the kind of monster we're trying to defeat."

  "I'm scared."

  "You've still got Donovan and Mallory and now you've got James and Dom here to watch your back as well. You don't need to be scared. All of the pieces are in place; you just need to hold things together for a little bit longer and it will all be over. For the first time in centuries someone actually has a chance at toppling the Coun'hij. Be strong for just a little bit longer and everything will be okay."

  I wiped my tears away and nodded. Alec gave my hand another squeeze and then looked back over at Donovan.

  "When you finally get a shot at Dream Stealer and the others you're going to want to mobilize every resource we have, Donovan. That means Alexi and everyone else he thinks is remotely trustworthy."

  "Are you sure, Master Alec? Even Alexi doesn't know the truth about us. He's been working for us long enough and cleaned up enough of our slipups that I suspect he's put together most of the pieces. He can probably be trusted to continue to keep what he sees a secret, but if we start bringing in other mercenaries we're liable to have the existence of our people get out to the public."

  "I'm sure. The Coun'hij needs to be stopped regardless of the price. We take the best shot we can and we'll worry about picking up the pieces afterwards."

  "Very good, Master Alec, is there anything else?"

  "Probably, but I'm so tired I'm having a hard time keeping track of the pieces. Try and track down anyone we haven't heard from lately. Jess, Wyatt, Isaac, Ash and Kristin, along with whoever survived from the Chicago pack. We're probably going to need all of them before this is over."

  "If it is within my power it will be done, Master Alec."

  "I know it will be, Donovan. I…I'm grateful for everything. You've been one of the few constants in my life and none of this would have been possible without your support. You were the best father anyone could have hoped for, blood relation or not."

  Now it was Donovan's eyes that had gone shiny with unshed tears. I didn't want to leave Alec's side, not now that I knew just how short our time together might be, but I also knew that this was a moment that I wasn't meant to share. I tried to stand again so I could give the two of them their privacy, but Alec still refused to let go of my hand.

  "Please stay, Adri."

  "No, the two of you should have a few minutes alone. It's only right."

  Donovan blotted at his eyes with a handkerchief and then cleared his throat. "No, Mistress Paige, Master Alec is quite right. Over the last two decades we have said everything that needs to be said. He knows that I couldn't be prouder of him, and that I profoundly respect the man he's become. More than that though, there is no need because this isn't a time for goodbyes. I will see him again."

  "Careful, Donovan, you're starting to sound like me. The next thing you know you'll be delusional and lying to people because you're convinced that you can will the future you want into existence."

  Donovan gave me a very serious smile. "Mistress Paige, if your 'delusions' are capable of continuing to bring Master Alec back to us again and again, then one has to wonder if they're really delusions. I'll leave the two of you to discuss whatever else needs to be discussed."

  "Donovan, please tell Mallory that I'm sorry we didn't get more time together. I meant to carve out a few minutes with her, but it
just didn't end up happening."

  Donovan bowed his head. "I think you'll find that Mallory is nothing if not a pragmatist, Master Alec, but I will convey your apologies."

  Once Donovan had pulled the door shut behind him, Alec gave me a sad smile. "You still haven't promised me that you won't come in after me."

  "I was kind of hoping that you wouldn't notice."

  "Fat chance of that. I've thought about very little else since I first realized how terrible of a price you had to pay to come get me this last time. Please promise me?"

  I debated for several seconds before shaking my head. "I won't give you the promise you want, Alec, but I'll agree not to just jump right in without looking. I'll give the effort of tracking him down in the real world my best shot and only come in after you if it seems like there isn't any other option."

  "I guess that's probably about as good of a compromise as I'm going to get."

  "I'm afraid so."

  "Very well, I accept your terms on one condition. When you come after me you do so with the knowledge that the man you're trying to save might not be there to be saved anymore. You need to have Donovan here to put me down if it turns out that I'm too far gone to come back to myself after you kill Dream Stealer."

  "Alec, no! You can't talk like that."

  "I'm serious, Adri. I don't want to become a monster. My ability is too dangerous for that. The amount of destruction I could wreak if Dream Stealer makes me over in his own image would be unimaginable."

  "Maybe you're right, but don't make Donovan and me do it…"

  "It has to be the two of you, Adri. Nobody else knows me better. Maybe Jasmin or Rach could make the call as to whether I'm still me, but there's no guarantee that either of them will be around. You'll have to decide fast. If I've really gone off the rails then I'll be incredibly dangerous."

  I tried to look away from him. I couldn't even begin to classify everything I was feeling in that moment, but my emotions were so overpowering they were causing me to shake. I wanted to scream, cry, and laugh hysterically all at the same time. Only Alec would put this kind of burden on two of the people who loved him the most, but he wasn't wrong to be worried about what he might become if Dream Stealer was allowed to torture him for weeks or even months.

  "I'll do what needs to be done, Alec. If there's one thing I've learned from you it's a sense of responsibility."

  Alec nodded hesitantly. I was pretty sure he knew I was telling the truth, but he could apparently also tell that I wasn't telling him the full story. That was fine. I wasn't about to start volunteering extra information—not after what he'd just made me promise to do.

  I would live up to my end of the deal if it came to it, but I was going to do everything I could—up to and including going in after him sometime within the next week or so if it came to that—in order to make sure that there was still something there to save. 'No other choice' was one of those subjective kinds of phrases and that was what I'd agreed to.

  Alec's head had started to bob, so I gently pushed him back onto his pillow. "Is there anything else you need me to promise? Any innocent children who need to be gunned down or schools that need to be burned to the ground?"

  "Please don't be like that, Adri. I wouldn't ask if there was any other choice…"

  "I know, but that doesn't change the fact that everything about this situation sucks."

  Alec pulled me down next to him and helped me turn so I could rest my head on his chest. His heartbeat didn't sound like the heartbeat of a condemned man. It sounded slow and strong—too confident for someone who was about to be tortured.

  "I know. I'm sorry—I really wish that things could be different. Maybe I shouldn't have declared war against the Coun'hij. Maybe I should have pretended to join them and then tried to destroy them from the inside."

  "No, you couldn't have done that and still been you. You had to do what you did—this is all just part of the price for being you, Alec. It just sucks that we live in the kind of world that punishes the best and brightest. You deserve a lot better than this."

  "I'm not sure I qualify as the best or the brightest, but I appreciate the sentiment."

  We sat there in silence for several seconds. I was afraid that he'd fallen asleep, but I was too scared to check. It was an incredible relief when he finally spoke again.

  "If Rachel shows back up—if she survives all of this—can you please tell her that I love her and that I'm sorry I didn't take better care of her?"

  "You are going to survive—I think you took great care of her—but I'll tell her that's what you said."

  "Thanks. Tell my mother that I'm sorry our last interaction had to go down like it did. I must have envisioned her coming back to herself a million times over the last ten years, but it was never like that in my imagination."

  "Alec…I'm sorry about…"

  "No, it wasn't your fault. I should have known that she would be like that. The distant, distracted woman I knew growing up never could have been such a polarizing figure inside of the pack. I should have expected something like this."

  "Are you sure I'm the best one to tell your mom anything?"

  "It needs to come from you. Sooner or later she's going to have to accept that you were the one I wanted to spend my last moments with."

  "Okay, Alec. I'll tell her."

  "Thanks, Adri. I never meant to drop all of this on you. Almost from the first moment we met I wished that I was someone else, that we could just have a normal life together without any worries about the Coun'hij or restoring the monarchy. I've wished so many times that I could just bring myself to walk away from it all so that you wouldn't have to see this side of the world."

  "Never wish that, Alec. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you if you'd been the kind of person who could abandon people who desperately need you. Never apologize for who you are. I keep wanting to tell you to stop saying goodbye, but I guess I'm no better than you when it comes to that either. I would hate to miss the chance to tell you that you saved me. Not just from Simon and Nathanial or from Brandon. You saved me from despair.

  "When I met you I didn't want to go on anymore. I wanted to curl up in a little ball and just wait to die. I felt like there wasn't anything left to live for, but you changed all of that. You showed me a world of terror and pain, but it's also a world of incredible beauty, one where it actually matters what we choose, one where I can help make a difference, even if just a small one. You've been everything I could have ever hoped for and I'm sorry for how much pain I caused you."

  Alec shook his head. "You don't need to apologize for that, Adri. We both needed that to happen to get to where we are today. I'm so grateful that you came into my life when you did. In a very real way, everything I've accomplished in the last few months is because of you."

  He sounded so tired. I was pretty sure that anyone else would have given up fighting a long time ago, but Alec just refused to go to sleep. His breathing slowed even more, but just when I thought he'd finally succumbed to his exhaustion he squeezed me tighter.

  "Will you stay here until I fall asleep?"

  "Of course I'll stay here, Alec. I'll make sure there is always someone here watching you, even when I can't be here, and I'll be here every spare minute I can manage."

  "Thank you. That actually helps more than I would have expected."

  I stayed there by Alec's side for twenty more minutes as he continued to fight off the sleep that would mean a return to being in Dream Stealer's power, but even Alec's incredible will eventually met its match and he drifted off to sleep. I finally knew for sure that he was asleep when every muscle in his body simultaneously turned to iron, but even then he didn't scream out.

  Chapter 16

  Adriana Paige

  Interstate 70

  Western Missouri

  I was coming up on the end of my shift with Alec, which meant that it was nearly my bedtime and I was beyond exhausted. Frankly all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and close my eyes, bu
t Louis had other ideas.

  "Adri, I'm afraid that I must insist you hand me over to Alec. I have something important to discuss with him."

  I probably shouldn't have even answered Louis' call. Donovan and his team of hackers had our new communications equipment up and more or less running, but they'd encountered more of the 'unexpected problems' that Alec had warned us against. The hacker who originally had been in charge of our communications seemed to be passively resisting helping in the hopes that our jury-rigged solution would fail and vindicate him for not coming up with it himself.

  On some level I could understand his frustration. He'd wanted to employ a bulletproof solution that wouldn't be vulnerable to all of the problems we were currently experiencing, but I didn't have six months to wait while he got all of the nitpicky little details squared away. I needed a solution now, one that would let me keep everything Alec had struggled to build from falling apart. I just needed something that would last long enough for us to find and kill Dream Stealer.

  The real kick in the teeth was that our unhappy little hacker was right. The solution we'd chosen to go with was temperamental and seemed like it was ready to fall over at any moment. I was even less conversant with the technical details than Donovan was, but as nearly as I could tell we were involved in a kind of high-tech, programming arms race.

  The Coun'hij's hackers were getting better and better at writing programs that had a chance to break through the security measures that masked our cell signal, while our people took more and more desperate actions to try and keep us from being tracked back to our actual location. It was like we were building a gigantic house of cards while the Coun'hij was pulling cards out one at a time from the bottom of the house. If we did everything right and worked at a frantic pace then we had a chance to stay ahead of them, but all it would take was for us to slow down a little or make a mistake and the Coun'hij would bring the whole house crashing down.

  Donovan had two separate teams of mercenaries currently driving around the country in RV's with similar communications suites in them. Those teams turned on their equipment at semi-random times in an effort to distort the data being picked up by the Coun'hij, but each time I got on the phone to accept an incoming call the Coun'hij got a little closer to tracking us down.